33 Days - Love Is Patient...

"Sometimes our best service to those we love is to simply stand by, be silent, be patient, be hopeful, be understanding, and wait." - Leo Buscaglia

I've seen people I care about, people close to me go down paths of self-destruction... It hurts to watch. It hurts to feel.

The easy path is to write them off. Give up. Let them go their own way.

You can not change them. Change comes only from within yourself.

No, you cannot change me... But you can love me, just as I am - ever patient, ever hopeful, ever loving...

Isn't that what you'd want for yourself if you had on a different pair of shoes?

34 Days - Merry Christmas...

35 Days - Find Yourself...

Who were you made to be?

Wisdom is being who you are.
Knowledge is knowing who you are.

Given a choice of wisdom or knowledge, I'd rather wisdom...

To me, BEING who you are is more important than KNOWING who you are...

Sadly, I think religion has become a flawed concept for quite some time now... When people think they have to conform to be something they are not, there's a flaw. When people rebel against a concept and end up hurt, sad, defeated, and unfulfilled, there's a MAJOR flaw.

Why do I think this way? Because I've been there. I know those thoughts. I know those feelings.

To me, religion should be FREEDOM. Free to be who you are. Free to love yourself. Free to love people. Free to love the world, and free to love God, whomever or whatever you can conceive him to be, but just be free...

And if you've never done this... Send a thought, a prayer, a question into being - to show you a religion, a state, a being - of free...

Then, find yourself.
Seek and you shall find.
Knock and the door will be opened.

36 Days - You're No Mr. E...

Mr. E

You're no mystery

Can't you see?

You're just like me

Who were you supposed to be?

That person no one tried to see

Cause inside you're still a baby

Learning, earning, tryin', break free

But someone told you to leave be

That dream you could barely see

So hard you tried, never free

Or true to thyself of thee

Oh, Hey Mr. E

As I see you live in sleep

Where are the dreams you keep?

Locked inside, so very deep?

Glint your eyes, light will seep

Mr. E, don't say a peep...

From the light, can you see the beam?

The light that wakes you from the dream

The light in the dark, so you won't scream?

Yes, go on climb that tree

Yes, don't fear to skin that knee

Yes, climb and play, be free

Gee...

Do you feel that glee?

Who are you, Mr. E?

Really...

Tell me...

But don't worry...

You're everybody.

38 Days - Shed Light...

Lessons I've learned...

Love is being vulnerable.

If you want to receive, give.

If you want to open someone up, open yourself up.

An honest truth is an understood truth.

Let me open myself up and give you an honest truth:

I know that everyone has weak spots, vulnerabilities. We cover them, hide them, mask them. We hide behind fasts and indulgences. We hide behind ideas of sinner and saint. We hide behind notions of success and failure. Some of us even play games and experiment to test the lucrativeness of these boundary lines.

We raise and lower our standards, because we can't meet or rise above the standard of who we think we ought to be.

Don't get me wrong - Is it great to strive for continual improvement? Of course.

But if you constantly live in the struggle of being, you're missing out on life, on love.

In Freedom, you've already arrived. You recognize that where you are is exactly where you're supposed to be, and it is also going to change.

Freedom is to just Be.
As you are - in your current, beautiful self.

My Light...

I've struggled with ideas of perfection... in body, in behavior, in competence
I've struggled with fear of rejection and of neglect

What are my masks?
Food. Alcohol. Indifference. Negligence. Criticisms.

As surely as the world turns, I'm constantly learning...
But still, I run for freedom...

In Love,
Christine

(Freedom is in forgiveness and release... Feel free to share anonymously, if you choose.)

39 Days - In His Own Words...

I haven't quite found the courage or articulation to try to portray someone's story with my words...

So until then, meet my friend, John:

http://www.atlantamission.org/download_file/view/287/301/

He is one of the first people I really got to know at the Mission. We served together in the kitchen. At the time, he had been in the program for over 5 months. He is now the kitchen servant leader and is nearing his 1 year graduation.

While randomly checking out the Atlanta Union Mission thrift store in Roswell, I came across this poster on the wall... My heart began to beat - "I know him. I know his name. That's my friend - that's my friend, John."

40 Days - Update...

Goal #1: Completing the 5K - Well, I ran 3.75 miles on Saturday and a little under that on Sunday, so the distance is no problem... BUT to up the ante, a friend put a donation bet on my speed, which is not my forte. New challenge accepted... but not promising.

Goal #2: Alcohol fast - Today is the official day 5... Through the weekend... multiple Christmas parties... social events  - Check.

Goal #3 & #4: Team, Sponsorship, and Support - Let me just say: I have some pretty amazing people in my life... Thank you. I can't tell you what it means to have people respond, literally, immediately. Every bit is so encouraging. I am in awe, and I honestly think of each of you every time I'm running, I'm at the Mission, or I'm looking at a menu :) You are truly awesome!

I am blessed.

In Love,
Christine